Stuck in the Sandwich

Stuck in the Sandwich: How to Care for Aging Parents and Young Kids Without Losing Yourself

If you’re caught between caring for ageing parents while raising your own children, you’re living the reality of the “sandwich generation.” You’re not alone—1 in 10 adults in New Zealand are feeling the squeeze, juggling these dual responsibilities while also managing careers, young families, and their own well-being.

It’s a lot, and it’s no wonder so many sandwich carers feel burned out, overwhelmed, and even resentful. The good news? You don’t have to do it all. Here are practical tips to help you survive—and thrive—as a sandwich carer.

1. Recognize You Can’t Do It All (And That’s Okay)

Caring for your parents and your children at the same time can make you feel like you’re being pulled in every direction. The first step to finding balance is accepting that you can’t do everything perfectly. Delegation isn’t a weakness; it’s a smart strategy that you would adopt at work, so why not in your personal life too?

Tip: Consider professional in-home care for your ageing parents. Services like AngelCare can take care of the day-to-day tasks like meal prep, housekeeping, and companionship, so you can focus on enjoying your time with them.

2. Set Boundaries and Prioritise

Your time and energy are limited, so it’s important to establish boundaries that protect both. Be realistic about what you can take on, and don’t be afraid to say no when your plate is already full.

Quick Tip:

• Use the Eisenhower Matrix to prioritise your life and avoid falling into only doing ‘important - urgent’ tasks.

• Schedule non-negotiable “me-time” to recharge, even if it’s just 30 minutes locked away with a KitKat.

3. Take Care of Yourself First

It’s often said, but it’s true: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Sandwich carers often put themselves last, but neglecting your own well-being only makes it harder to care for others.

Simple Ways to Care for Yourself:

• Exercise regularly, even if it’s just a walk around the block.

• Eat meals that nourish you (and avoid surviving on coffee).

• Talk to someone—a friend, a therapist, or a support group—about how you’re feeling (there are also heaps of Facebook groups, like this Dementia Carers one)

4. Lean on Professional Support

If you’re feeling stretched too thin, it might be time to get help. Many of the families we work with speak about the guilt they feel by getting help. By accepting help, others can handle daily tasks like meal prep, housekeeping, and companionship, while you’ll have more time and energy to focus on the moments that matter—being a daughter, son, or parent, not just a caregiver. AngelCare provides in-home support tailored to your parents’ needs, so you can have peace of mind knowing they’re in good hands.

"AngelCare gave me my time back," says Sarah, one of our clients. "Knowing my mum’s Angel is there to look after her means I can spend quality time with her and just be her daughter, not her carer."

5. Cherish the Moments That Matter

At the end of the day, the most important thing is the time you spend with your loved ones. By easing your caregiving load, you’ll have more energy to be present for the moments that truly matter—whether that’s a Sunday dinner with your parents or storytime with your kids.

Being part of the sandwich generation is no small feat, but you don’t have to go it alone. With support from services like AngelCare, you can take back your time, preserve your well-being, and focus on the people who matter most.

Want to learn more about how AngelCare can help?
Visit www.angelcare.co.nz or contact us today to discuss a customised care plan for your family.